A Worthwhile Post #4: One-Sided Momma

All the Worthwhile Posts I've talked about so far.

Clearly, I'm not the only one wiped out by BlogHer.  Anyone who reads a handful of blogs probably came across a post either criticizing it, hailing it as the best thing since sliced bread, or attributing post-convention exhaustion and feelings of being utterly lost in real life to it.

Honestly, I'm in the third camp.  Either I'm not smart or naive enough to be in either of the first two.  I'm not sure which.  In any case, my extreme fatigue has already been written with such eloquence and skill that I'm spared the task of even trying.

Erin, of One-Sided Momma, is a former teacher, a current military wife, and mother of two two-legged and one four-legged wee ones.  She's smart, emotive, and real and she weaves threads of narrative into colorful patchworks with ease.  And this post is no different.  (I also had the very great pleasure of touring the MOMA with her and can also add she has an easygoing demeanor and alabaster skin.)

It's not just because her content hits so close to home, but also because I think it goes beyond just this week for so many of us.  We all have days, weeks, months just like this, where we question our own fortitude, sanity, and will.  Her candor and skill at sharing it is what really grabbed me.

Enjoy.

Man, I Miss Me

Holy blog deprivation, you guys. Since being home from my little hiatus I haven't been able to find my mommy mojo and get back into the routine of making time to write while also doing the 456, 732 other things necessary for oiling this family machine. Nothing like a break in your typical program to kink up your momentum and make you feel like the substitute teacher without hand-outs and teacher's key. I have lesson plans (if matching shoes and going to the pool count as lesson plans) but no "insider's knowledge" of how to get through them smoothly.

I think the real irony here is that time away from home usually makes other people in your family appreciate all you do but this time it made me realize all I do. And now I have no idea what kind of super human freak I was before I left because seriously there isn't any "leftover" time in the day to write. There isn't any kind of pocket of unused minutes I can dip into for uploading pictures, organizing thoughts, and posting some coherent story about our day. Did I once do this at 2am? Did I give the children bags of gum drops and looped cartoons around noon so I could blog? Was there a slow CO leak I didn't know about? Whatever the case, I once was crafty enough to find the time. Now? Two weeks later I am putting Abby in her brother's T-shirts because suddenly her own clothes don't fit. I am forgetting to make eye contact with Grayson who has a running dialogue with my thighs lately as I whir a blue streak around the house with Windex. I am cleaning up doughnuts that Sadie heisted in our absence, not because she loves sour cream cake, (mind you, this dog has been known to turn her snout away from steak if it's too gristly), but because she's bored as hell (or is assuming that I am bored as hell too and want to play hide-and-doughnut-seek when I return). And don't even get me started on that guy I haven't seen in going on three weeks now but whose aftershave leaves me breathless because my nose tricks me for one millisecond into thinking he's only in the next room. Seriously you guys, what the hell is going on around here? Where is my children's mother? Where is that dogwalker, cook, maid, nanny, split decision maker, multi-tasking gangster? Where is that girl who could whip everyone into shape by 10 am and have enough brain power to post relevant images and daily meanderings?

She must still be shopping in NY.

I just hope she remembers milk and eggs.

Posted by One Sided Momma at 8/16/2010 03:18:00 PM

With my sidebar feature, "A Worthwhile Post...", my hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across (and repeatedly visit) without having any rules or strings attached.

If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.

I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.

<a href="http://thisisworthwhile.blogspot.com/2010/08/worthwhile-post-4-one-sided-momma.html" target="_blank"><img alt="This is Worthwhile" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs192.ash2/45569_428159326449_525551449_4830782_6934852_n.jpg.jpg" /></a>

A worthwhile post #3: Bored Mommy

All the A Worthwhile Post recipients.

I have been such a big downer on my blog lately. I admit it. I'm not apologizing for it, but I do recognize it for what it is. Shit happens. It ends up on my blog. However, not apologizing for it isn't the same as wishing it were different. Because I do! I wish that I could take my ire and my irritability and spin it into sheer humor genius. I think I actually do a pretty good job in real life, but when it comes to my writing I lean towards the serious, not the silly.

Which is exactly why this month's worthwhile post is Maria's (of Bored Mommy) script for her husband's press conference. She took Tiger's pitiful plea for forgiveness and crafted a brilliant opus for her own man. I laughed my ass off. It's bitingly funny and spot on. I couldn't wait to fire off an all-caps response to her regarding men and taking out the trash. I mean, COME ON, HUSBANDS! Hahahaha. Anyway, read it and weep... with laughter, of course.

I do believe my husband owes ME a press conference

2010 February 19

tags: Husband Press Conference, Owe Mommy Diamonds

by Maria

So I just watched the worse press conference ever – 15 minutes of some famous dude reading (badly, I might add) this brutally scripted crap, as a means to apologize to the world that he’s a man whore. I didn’t empathize – I can’t really empathize with angry, arrogant dudes. I think he should have been down on his knees, apologizing to his wife, for humiliating her over and over. If I was his wife I would have thrown a rather large rock toward the tv. (Note: I said toward the tv, not directly AT the tv — no dude is going to make me destroy my only link to Modern Family, thank you very much.)
But it got me thinking – press conferences can be a good thing, if done the right way. In fact, I think I’m owed a press conference. Yes – I believe MY HUSBAND owes ME a press conference. So, I made it easy on him and prepared his script for him. I’m sweet like that:
Good Afternoon Everyone – my name is Husband (also known as SuperGoob) and I am here today to set the record straight on why I believe Maria is a GODDESS for staying with me after all these years, and why I truly owe her the largest and sparkliest diamond available. And a new camera. And a new house. And a Gucci handbag.
First off, I would like to apologize for all the years I’ve put my dirty laundry next to the hamper, instead of IN the damn hamper. My wife did not sign up for touching my nasty drawers on a daily basis, for the last 10 years of her life. I’m sorry, because truth be told, I suck. From now on, I will be doing all laundry, including folding it and putting it away to make it up to her.
Also, I would like to say that I’m ashamed to admit that every time my perfect wife has attempted to make me dinner, I feel the need to douse it with salt and various condiments, before I even taste it. I cannot blame her for wanting to throw said dinner at my head on a daily basis, and am greatful that she fights said urge.
Indeed, making her yell at me to do the garbage and recycling every Thursday night is so wrong, that I insist she go out and buy herself that new handbag this very moment, and any time that this ever happens again. Darling, I will feel so much better if you go ahead and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it. The enormous balance of that upcoming credit card bill, will fill my heart with joy.
But most of all, I would like to BEG for forgiveness, for every minute that I have slept in. (That’s a WHOLE LOT OF BEGGING in case you’re wondering). For every time I have slept through screaming and crying babies, sick and vomiting children, I owe you BIG TIME. For every time, I pretended to sleep, or ignored you when you were trying to talk to me, and every time I spoke to you rudely when you were trying to wake me, resulting in me acting like an insensitive prig, I owe you a million junk punches (with a jock on of course).
I will never live up to your fabulousness, or stunning beauty, and most importantly, I will never be as smart or funny as you are. No matter how hard I try, I will never beat you at Scrabble, or gin rummy or any game, ever. I love you so much that I will end this perfect press conference with as many cliches as I can muster, because being embarassed will only make me feel better about all those craptastic moments I’ve put you through over the last 10 years.

You are the wind beneath my wing.

You are the light at the end of my tunnel

You are the left to my right.

You are the pepper to my salt.

You are the funny to my cheesy.

Please forgive me. Sincerely, Your Husband

...

With my sidebar feature, "A Worthwhile Post...", my hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across without having any rules or strings attached.

If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.

I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.

Bored Mommy's code:

<a href="http://thisisworthwhile.blogspot.com/2010/02/worthwhile-post-3-bored-mommy.html" target="_blank"><img alt="This is Worthwhile" src="http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs208.snc3/21580_277366801449_525551449_3328032_5838401_n.jpg" /></a>

A worthwhile post #2: Globe Trotting In Heels

This is the second A Worthwhile Post badge I've given out.

I've been so cryptic lately, not writing, and generally a mess that when I read this post from Elisa at Globe Trotting in Heels today I wanted to clap and jump up and down I was so relieved to see that someone else - clear across the globe, even - gets it. Of course neither one of us really has the details of each other's lives, but it doesn't matter. Just knowing, and seeing with my own eyes, the proof that I'm not alone is worth the world to me right now (just wait, you'll see why soon enough).

I very recently realized that my life has to be about pursuing happiness, following your bliss, so to speak and when I saw those very words from Elisa my heart stopped. Also, her sentiments about fogginess, friendship, and finding yourself while not losing anything or anyone are also beautifully honest and strike a chord with me, as well. Here is her post:

The light at the end of the tunnel

by Elisa on January 27, 2010

in personal

Lately, I have resurfaced. I am no longer being a stranger, I started blogging again, I started tweeting again, and I’m trying to keep up to date with the posts of my all fave bloggy friends (haven’t quite succeed yet, you are all so prolific, but I’m working on it!).

I’m no longer in hiding, no longer depressed, no longer feeling sorry for myself while simultaneously feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself while others in my position would consider themselves lucky.

When I read about things happening in NYC, it no longer makes me sad. Sure, sometimes I wish I was there, but I no longer feel like I am missing out on the best things I could be experiencing, like my life is “less than” because of me being here instead of there. I no longer feel like I got relegated from the center of the universe to a remote corner of its outer frontier.

In fact, I may go as far as saying that I feel quite happy. Today I feel the happiness that comes from simple things: exchanging friendly banter and snarky comments with a new friend, experiencing excitement at the discovery of a new local treasure, having a chat while sitting on the tram. The happiness that comes from things that are so plain, so everyday, that we take them for granted. But those same things are what helps you create a life, a life where you feel comfortable, not constantly awkward and out of place; a life where you feel you can be yourself, and not everyone has to like you, and that’s ok; a life where you are not alone, not lonely, not an island, not lost in yourself.

It’s amazing how much we take for granted. How everyone craves the flashy stuff, without realizing that the simple things are really the best part. Someone to share a laugh, a day, a passion with. Someplace to go back and gather your thoughts, knowing you can leave and it will still be there when you come back. Knowing you have a place in the world, a role, even if you don’t know what it is quite yet. And knowing that you can, you will, find a way to follow your bliss without leaving anyone behind and without being left behind.

Also, the luxury to say things like this, and know that not everyone will understand, but your friends will listen anyway. So thank you. For sticking with me during the foggy times, when my sky was nothing but gray. There is snow on the ground outside, but in here? Things are looking up.

-Elisa

...

With my sidebar feature, "A Worthwhile Post...", my hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across without having any rules or strings attached.

If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.

I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.

Globe Trotting in Heels' code:

<a href="http://thisisworthwhile.blogspot.com/2009/12/worthwhile-post-2-globe-trotting-in.html" target="_blank"><img alt="This is Worthwhile" src="http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs208.snc3/21580_277366801449_525551449_3328032_5838401_n.jpg" /></a>

A worthwhile post...

Every once in a while I read a post that really hits me. It might make me think, or make me feel hugged. It might even make me feel ridiculous, smart, or not alone. But whatever it does, it's worth a second glance and definitely worth sharing.

I'm going to add a sidebar feature under "And The Marquee Says..." which will read "A Worthwhile Post..." My hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across without having any rules or strings attached.

If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.

I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.

Capital Mom's code:

<a href="http://thisisworthwhile.blogspot.com/2009/12/worthwhile-post.html" target="_blank"><img alt="This is Worthwhile" src="http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs246.snc1/9318_153565026449_525551449_2635769_5239948_n.jpg" /></a>

So, in that vein, I give you my first featured post, Cup, written by Brie at Capital Mom. Simple, touching, and straight-shooting it grabbed me on a day when I felt aimless and empty.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Cup

I used to be a glass half empty kind of girl.
I have worked hard to see it as half full.
Today it feels like someone drank all the milk.
I blame the kids.

It isn't just them, of course.
It is me too, but
The reluctance to nap when she is obviously tired,
The incessant, uncontrollable crying for twenty minutes
Where nothing I do comforts him,
The scene in Bridgehead because I won't let her out 0f the stroller
And the high pitched screaming that accompanies our immediate departure,
The lengthy talk out on the sidewalk about appropriate behaviour
And the importance of listening.
All that, plus the feeling that somehow I am doing everything wrong.

Those moments have drained my cup.

I am trying to refill it.
Back at home, help on hand,
I can pause and pour better moments into my cup.
The loving cuddles with the boy these last few days.
The joy they obviously take in playing with each other.
Her attempts to learn from those teaching moments we have together.

My cup was empty today.
Tomorrow it may overflow.
Filling it up, emptying it out.
These are my days.

.................................

Other Worthwhile Posts:

A worthwhile post...

What's this?

Every once in a while I read a post that really hits me. It might make me think, or make me feel hugged. It might even make me feel ridiculous, smart, or not alone. But whatever it does, it's worth a second glance and definitely worth sharing.

I'm going to add a sidebar feature under "And The Marquee Says..." which will read "A Worthwhile Post..." My hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across without having any rules or strings attached.

If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.

I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.