Clearly, I'm not the only one wiped out by BlogHer. Anyone who reads a handful of blogs probably came across a post either criticizing it, hailing it as the best thing since sliced bread, or attributing post-convention exhaustion and feelings of being utterly lost in real life to it.
Honestly, I'm in the third camp. Either I'm not smart or naive enough to be in either of the first two. I'm not sure which. In any case, my extreme fatigue has already been written with such eloquence and skill that I'm spared the task of even trying.
Erin, of One-Sided Momma, is a former teacher, a current military wife, and mother of two two-legged and one four-legged wee ones. She's smart, emotive, and real and she weaves threads of narrative into colorful patchworks with ease. And this post is no different. (I also had the very great pleasure of touring the MOMA with her and can also add she has an easygoing demeanor and alabaster skin.)
It's not just because her content hits so close to home, but also because I think it goes beyond just this week for so many of us. We all have days, weeks, months just like this, where we question our own fortitude, sanity, and will. Her candor and skill at sharing it is what really grabbed me.
Enjoy.
Man, I Miss Me
Holy blog deprivation, you guys. Since being home from my little hiatus I haven't been able to find my mommy mojo and get back into the routine of making time to write while also doing the 456, 732 other things necessary for oiling this family machine. Nothing like a break in your typical program to kink up your momentum and make you feel like the substitute teacher without hand-outs and teacher's key. I have lesson plans (if matching shoes and going to the pool count as lesson plans) but no "insider's knowledge" of how to get through them smoothly.
I think the real irony here is that time away from home usually makes other people in your family appreciate all you do but this time it made me realize all I do. And now I have no idea what kind of super human freak I was before I left because seriously there isn't any "leftover" time in the day to write. There isn't any kind of pocket of unused minutes I can dip into for uploading pictures, organizing thoughts, and posting some coherent story about our day. Did I once do this at 2am? Did I give the children bags of gum drops and looped cartoons around noon so I could blog? Was there a slow CO leak I didn't know about? Whatever the case, I once was crafty enough to find the time. Now? Two weeks later I am putting Abby in her brother's T-shirts because suddenly her own clothes don't fit. I am forgetting to make eye contact with Grayson who has a running dialogue with my thighs lately as I whir a blue streak around the house with Windex. I am cleaning up doughnuts that Sadie heisted in our absence, not because she loves sour cream cake, (mind you, this dog has been known to turn her snout away from steak if it's too gristly), but because she's bored as hell (or is assuming that I am bored as hell too and want to play hide-and-doughnut-seek when I return). And don't even get me started on that guy I haven't seen in going on three weeks now but whose aftershave leaves me breathless because my nose tricks me for one millisecond into thinking he's only in the next room. Seriously you guys, what the hell is going on around here? Where is my children's mother? Where is that dogwalker, cook, maid, nanny, split decision maker, multi-tasking gangster? Where is that girl who could whip everyone into shape by 10 am and have enough brain power to post relevant images and daily meanderings?
She must still be shopping in NY.
I just hope she remembers milk and eggs.
I think the real irony here is that time away from home usually makes other people in your family appreciate all you do but this time it made me realize all I do. And now I have no idea what kind of super human freak I was before I left because seriously there isn't any "leftover" time in the day to write. There isn't any kind of pocket of unused minutes I can dip into for uploading pictures, organizing thoughts, and posting some coherent story about our day. Did I once do this at 2am? Did I give the children bags of gum drops and looped cartoons around noon so I could blog? Was there a slow CO leak I didn't know about? Whatever the case, I once was crafty enough to find the time. Now? Two weeks later I am putting Abby in her brother's T-shirts because suddenly her own clothes don't fit. I am forgetting to make eye contact with Grayson who has a running dialogue with my thighs lately as I whir a blue streak around the house with Windex. I am cleaning up doughnuts that Sadie heisted in our absence, not because she loves sour cream cake, (mind you, this dog has been known to turn her snout away from steak if it's too gristly), but because she's bored as hell (or is assuming that I am bored as hell too and want to play hide-and-doughnut-seek when I return). And don't even get me started on that guy I haven't seen in going on three weeks now but whose aftershave leaves me breathless because my nose tricks me for one millisecond into thinking he's only in the next room. Seriously you guys, what the hell is going on around here? Where is my children's mother? Where is that dogwalker, cook, maid, nanny, split decision maker, multi-tasking gangster? Where is that girl who could whip everyone into shape by 10 am and have enough brain power to post relevant images and daily meanderings?
She must still be shopping in NY.
I just hope she remembers milk and eggs.
With my sidebar feature, "A Worthwhile Post...", my hope is that I will spread some blog love and give due nods, props, and high-fives to the writers I stumble across (and repeatedly visit) without having any rules or strings attached.
If I ever feature your post, please feel free to grab a "This is Worthwhile" button. There's no obligation whatsoever. Do whatever floats your awesome writer's boat. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't use the button.
I'll also do individual codes for each blogger, because I want anyone who clicks on this button to come directly to the post that says why I think it's worthwhile.
I am there too. Well, it is getting a bit better but those first few days back were hard. Four years of not having time to myself and then all of a sudden I am by myself in an awesome city. And then I have to go back to reality. Man, reality bites.
ReplyDeleteIt was a shock to realize all I do. I am finding my groove again. But then again, my house is always a mess. :-)
My trip to NYC for Blogher was my first away from my kids since they were born (my son is almost 7!) and actually the first I've taken alone since I've been married (other than when I used to work). I was surprised at how hard it was to get back to the same old same old when I did return. Being spoiled with the joys of myself again, after four days, was something I will cherish, and probably strongly miss for a long time.
ReplyDelete