Horses h u r t

To say that I am sore is an understatement.

I had my first horseback riding lesson in 10 years this afternoon.

Bliss, bliss, sweat, sweat, burn, burn. Repeat.

I can barely move my legs to walk or push on the brake pedal.

It will be sheer force of will that will get me locomotive tomorrow. Really.

Here I am happy, exhausted, and on Cloud Nine with Hollis.

Yeah! I'm on a horse with my sweet little sugar! Thanks for not killing me, Baloo!

Here I am with cramped leg muscles whose names I don't even know.

What muscle is that??

They're not my calf muscles, nor my shins, but the ones connected to my ankle bones that go up on the sides.

And, ohhhhh, how they ache and burn. Like someone grabbed my tendons with a big, beefy fist and ripped them out through my pale skin. Yeah, that kinda sore.

I loved every frickin' second on top of that big, sweaty beast, though. Yessir, I did. Can't wait to do it again. I'm a glutton for punishment, always have been. But I'm sure you already knew that.

I <3 horses.

I <3 Anthony.

I <3 the Anthony who rubs me after I ride horses.

Update: It's day 2 after the ride and I can barely walk. I've never felt the tendons in my groin so acutely before. I feel like a rag doll with only thread keeping my legs attached! hahahaha I still love it, though. My wrists now hurt and some weird inner muscle around my center. My body is a mysterious puzzle it seems!

I love other peoples' birthdays

Today is Anthony's birthday and I have had so much fun plotting and planning for it. A few weeks ago he chatted me and said,

"Ok, are you sitting down? I want riding boots for my birthday."

It was a total shock and completely thrilled me. Considering our long standing stall in shared interests this was a sign of even more progress!! Within minutes I was on Craigslist.com and I scored a pair of men's English riding boots in a size 10.5. I should have bought a Lotto ticket that day because, seriously, the odds of this happening were 1 in about a kajillion. I must have had a big chunk of Karma waiting for me, or something.

Next, I tried to find him some breeches, but alas, Craigslist was not to be my savior in all things riding, just boots. I hunted around the internet for a good deal, but a "good deal" in the equestrian world is $100. Most breeches were in the $200 range! - It really has been a long time since I was in the Horse World. I remember buying breeches as a teenager for $40 a pop.

I figured we'd just have to wait on that piece of his wardrobe. Besides, Anthony was in no rush. He kept asking me if men really wore breeches to ride or if it was just women (he had the same squirmy reaction to wearing a Speedo when I was teaching him how to swim the competitive strokes - I refused to teach if he was wearing 10 lb "trunks" - they're not named after a tree for nothing). But just this week I scored $200 from selling my glider and ottoman and *poof* I had the cash for some more riding gear.

I told Anthony we had a mystery field trip today and drove him up to the tack shop. He was thrilled and I have to say, quite a trooper. I don't know if I'd be as brave to switch from the normal baggy fare that is a man's wardrobe to skin-tight and clingy cotton, breathable or not. After a few attempts he found a great pair for $130 (gulp), but whatever. This pair will last him years (I still have my breeches from when I was a 20-freakin-8 inch waist and can paint them on in a pinch - no pun intended).

Here he is gamely modeling them. Isn't he dashing?

There's something about a man in breeches...

During his second lesson the working students watching him with me at the rail (all of 12 and 8 years old) had compared his form and dark, good looks to that of Rodrigo Passoa, a Brazilian show jumper. I wasn't sure who he was, but upon a quick Google search, lo and behold there IS a resemblance!

(You'll have to trust me on there being a resemblance.)

We both have lessons tomorrow. I'm so excited! We won't ride together since we don't have anyone to watch Hollis, but I don't care. I'd rather be able to watch him anyway. And I feel a little better about my old self since I also got a pair of breeches today. After trying on my old ones from college I felt like a sad, irritable sausage and felt it was my civic duty to all involved to remedy the situation with some nice fitting britches.

*sigh*

The birthday is ongoing, too, since a couple of his gifts are in transit. This is turning into more of a birthweekend than a birthday; my favorite kind! We saw Star Trek at the matinee and we'll go out to dinner for Pho. (By the way, go see that movie - it fucking rocks.)

You can read more about our brand new horseback riding venture as a family here and here.

PS: I forgot to mention that while in the tack shop Hollis was zipping around whinnying at everything and everyone. He can't say "horse," doesn't even attempt it, but he does whinny like a champ. I could hear him from across the store when he was hidden by racks of clothing, "whiiiiiiiiney! whiiiiiiiney! ppbbbbbt!"

When do I learn the extended trot?

As everyone knows by now, I took my first English horseback riding lesson last weekend. Jessica has loved horses her whole life, and while I can't say I feel the same, I've definitely been intrigued since I watched her ride several years ago. After a recent date night at the Lipizzaner show (and some prodding from Jessica), I decided to give it a shot.

I've ridden a few times in the past, including one Western-style stroll through the woods with my older sister and a friend from work. Most of it has been nose-to-tail trail rides, though. While I guess I was technically controlling the horse, those rides are a whole lot like riding the Zilker Zephyr. Without all the scary moms.

I wasn't sure what to expect from my first lesson, but I figured at some point I'd be responsible for being more than just a passenger. I get a little stressed when trying out new things, so I started getting wound up a day or two in advance. What if I asked something dumb? What if I fell off? What if the beastie took a bite out of me, or kicked me in the guts? I managed to stay pretty cool, but I'm sure Jessica noticed my anxiety once we showed up at the barn.

I met Sydney, my instructor for the day, and she immediately handed me a halter and lead rope. (I hope I get all the terms right...) My trusty steed wasn't just parked and waiting for me. I got to retrieve him from the pasture. We hiked out there with another student who was there for the day. I'm not normally intimidated by 12-year-olds, but it was pretty obvious that this girl had way more riding experience than I did. Once we found Sterling (my trusty steed), my instructor put the halter on him and handed me the rope. The 12-year-old and I headed back to the barn while Sydney went off to track down another horse.

Jessica would have found my walk back to the barn hilarious. I was never been much of a dog person in the past, and my first attempts at walking Levi (r.i.p.) were full of me getting wrapped up in the leash as I tried to move out of the way of the dog walking behind me. Finally Jessica stopped us both and gave me a stern lesson about being the alpha dog. This was pretty much the same situation, except the dog weighed 1000 pounds or so and kept hitting me between the shoulder blades with his nose. I'm sure he just wanted me to get the hell out of his way. Eventually I figured out how to walk, and ol' Sterling and I got along much better.

Once we got to the barn, I asked the 12-year-old where I was supposed to take Sterling. She said, "Oh, just over there to the <blahblahmumbledequestrianterm>," with a nonchalant wave of her hand.

"Okay, cool."

I figured the trees with leash-looking things hanging off was a likely place.

I'm not very good about cleaning my motorcycle before hopping on it, but I guess it's bad form to do the same to your horse. He's probably been out rolling around in the pasture, and before you plop a saddle on his back, you need to make sure he doesn't have anything stuck that'll irritate him. I was totally on board with this. A non-irritated horse is just what I needed. So, I got a quick lesson in grooming. I also needed a helmet. After Sydney came back with two helmets that were too small, I went over to the tack room with her and tried some on. She said I could try her daughter's helmet, but that she has the largest head in the world. It was a perfect fit. Go figure.

Anyway, back to grooming. The whole time, Sterling was very patient. But every once in a while, he would stomp his front right hoof. It was kind of a lazy stomp, but I could feel it vibrate the ground with a hefty thump. I imagined my foot under there, and backed up a bit. I also gave him loooots of room when walking behind him. I'm sure I looked pretty hilarious.

After the grooming, it was time to saddle him up and lead him over to the arena. I learned that people don't just hop up on their horses from the ground. There was a little set of stairs that I used to get up into the saddle. One less chance to fall on my butt? Sign me up.

I'll spare you the details of the lesson itself, since Jessica covered it pretty well. Suffice it to say that it was easier than I expected (technique-wise) but also a lot harder than I expected (muscles-wise). I thought my legs were in pretty good shape, but I was BURNING after about 30 minutes in the saddle.

Once we were done (thank god), Hollis and I got led on a trail ride, which was awesome. Then I learned how to bathe my horse to cool him off. All in all, it was a really fascinating look into the world of horses.

Will I keep it up? Probably so. It doesn't have nearly the same visceral appeal to me as motorcycles, but it is fun and it has one aspect that I didn't fully appreciate before I went. It makes Jessica absolutely ecstatic. I mean, she was beside herself with happiness! I don't think anything I've ever done for recreation has made her nearly as happy as this did. For that reason alone, it's worth keeping up with. We'll never be a family of motorcycle racers, but maybe the family who neighs together stays together, eh?

I have died and gone to heaven

Watching Daddy be the shiz.

Today Anthony took his very first horseback riding lesson at Idylwood Stables in Manor, TX. After the Lipizzaner show last weekend we got to talking and he said he'd be willing to take lessons (we have a long standing stand-still between us regarding shared interests: I hate motorcycles and I don't ride horses anymore, despite my passion for them; so what could we possibly do together that we both love??). As soon as I got home that night I pulled up all my bookmarks for local riding barns. I mapped them, researched them and if they weren't too expensive or far away I decided to call them later in the week to check them out further.

Idylwood was the first barn I called and Sydney, the owner, bowled me over with her gregarious nature and positive attitude towards teaching a really green adult how to ride. Saturday at 2 pm was The Day Anthony Would Fall in Love with Horses (according me) or The Day Anthony Would Placate Jess (according to him).

Turns out the man is a freaking natural. Sydney had Anthony ride Sterling, a recent acquisition from a polo rider who discovered his horse wasn't much of a polo pony with a stellar disposition. Anthony groomed him with some hesitation and confusion, but survived. I was so proud of him. Next, he watched intently as Sydney explained all the tack and how it was put on the horse properly. Finally, the fun part of the lesson was at hand. She led Anthony and Sterling into a the outdoor arena to a mounting block, and up he went!

Hollis was running around pointing at all the water hoses and handing everyone straw he found laying on the ground. He so didn't get this momentus moment.

Most brand new riding students start out on the lunge line and Anthony was no different. He was put through the motions of discovering his sense of balance on a giant moving animal: hands on head, hands behind back, hands out to side. He was terrific. She then had him stand in his stirrups in two-point position. Without even trying his form was good, if shakey, and so then they started the trot with posting.


Posting, for those of you non-horsey types, is when the rider stands up off the saddle in rythym to the trot. It looks like this: up, down, up, down, up, down, and so on. At first it's exhausting, but once you develop those muscles it's far preferable to sitting in the trot (the horse's bounciest gait). And wouldn't you know it, Anthony nailed it! It usually takes people weeks to learn the rythym and Anthony got it on his first try.

Sydney yelled to me, "This isn't his first time on a horse!" We assured her it was (outside of a couple of western trail rides).

He did so well on the lunge line Sydney decided to take Sterling off. Anthony was now in control of Sterling all on his own. Without sounding condescending, Anthony was adorable atop his flea-bitten steed trying to persuade him to not walk into jump standards, but to instead go in a circle. A few wonderous minutes later, the lesson was over and Sydney called out to me to find a helmet small enough for Hollis. He was going to get a pony ride with Daddy.

Say what??

"A pony ride with Daddy," she had said. I'm pretty sure I'd heard her correctly.

I practically ran to the tack room for the helmet.

I plopped a cracked and dusty helmet on Hollis and took him to Sterling. My heart freaking burst wide open at the site of Hollis sitting on Sterling's withers in front of Anthony. Sydney led all of us down to their polo field, along a wooded stream and back up to the cross-ties. At first Hollis wasn't too sure of this horse thing (in the first five minutes of arriving at the barn a friendly horse licked him and he didn't like that too much), but eventually he began to relax his arms down to his side.

I cannot describe what I was feeling. I didn't take a lesson because I don't even want to get started only to have to stop when I get pregnant again. But to see Anthony and Hollis with a horse was sheer bliss. I could see years of a happy horse family in my future, hours spent together riding and at shows, talking horses, breathing horses. Neither Anthony or I want to split our family due to different interests. We want to avoid the whole: Daddy and kid and motorcycles all weekend and Mommy and kid and horses all weekend and the kids never getting to see and support each other and Anthony and I not being to together, either.


Maybe I'm looking too far into this, I don't know, but the possibilities are really exciting. Anthony told me (gently) that horses probably wouldn't replace motorcycles (my pipe dream), but that he'd be amenable to riding horses as a family. Woo-fucking-hoo!!!!!!

I can hope that some day this photo will be of me and my family.