Would you like some wine with your cheese?

I have finally been initiated into that parenting club otherwise known as, Kids Say the Darnedest Things.

I admit, my first story is really pretty tame, but I'm sure it's just a warm up (I'm legendary in my family for telling my grandfather, "Foktar, Papa!" when he wouldn't stop tickling my knee as a 2 year old).

We were in the grocery store the other day, checking out. Hollis was saying, "Hi" to everyone who was upright. In other words, people were paying attention to my squirrel-cheeked little boy when he decided to start shouting, "Poo! Poo!"

Now, I knew immediately he wasn't talking about poop. Instead, I had a feeling there was a big island of impulse buys somewhere nearby consisting of cheesy poofs and sure enough, all I had to do was turn around and there it was. A 15x15x4 foot mountain of cheesy poofs. And Hollis, bless his little I'll-talk-coherently-whenever-I'm-damn-well-ready butt, was calling for them, "Poo! Poo!"

I chuckled and looked at the cashier and bagger and said, "Oh, he's saying 'poofs'..."

"Uh huh," the bagger quipped, "Sure he is."

I laughed, Hollis continued to shout "Poo!" and I left, with nary an impulsively bought bag of poofs.

Also, over the weekend, Anthony was mortified in a much more subtle manner. This kid is a mastermind, I tell you.

He and Hollis were at the grocery store, Hollis riding along happily in the cart, content to go wherever Daddy took him and shouting out words of things he recognized. On this particular trip, Daddy needed to stock up on wine. So, imagine his discomfit when his two year old son started shouting, "Wine! Wine!" and making a popping noise like a cork.

Like I said, the kid is subtle.

I can't wait till someone hears him trying to say, "truck," which is a perfect rendition of another word that conveniently starts with the letter F and ends in - you guessed it - UCK.
What are some of the things your kids have said to humiliate you??


  1. Sounds like you have a fun ride ahead of you!

  2. Ha! These are pretty cute. :)

    And I wouldn't be in too much of a rush on the speaking clearly business. That brings a whole other world of trouble. At some point, your kid starts tattling on you to others, it's really charming.

  3. Funny you should mention the truck thing. That's exactly what happened to my MIL when my husband was a baby. He loved trucks and he saw one on the street and started repeating the word loudly. Except somehow "tr"s were "f"s. Cue the horrifying looks of neighbors toward the son of an English professor.

  4. lol so far none but I can forsee a lot of them once he starts talking LOL

  5. Maybe this is a sign that you should stop grocery shopping. :-)
    Nothing that I can remember at this moment that my kids have said. But my dad likes to tell the story about me shouting out loudly in a restaurant "that man is fat". Still haven't quite mastered any tact.

  6. was giving this one a good think and remembered a recent one from the three year old. he told me that our dog "sh*ts" too much. i'm pretty sure he meant shed. jury's still out. :)

  7. That is so funny! And the wine part is my favorite.