I'm a freaking mess. I've been up and down and all around the past three weeks.
I spent a week on the road with a toddler and a grown man whose tendency for grump these days is, let's just say, monumental for him. I mingled at a reunion that wasn't mine. I hung out with in-laws. I got zero sleep. I got sick. I got wrung out by people from every corner. I said goodbye to my husband for SEVENTEEN days. I got sick. I found a dear old friend. I was medically and legally violated by a radiologist, then an obstetrician. I saw my uterus and fallopian tubes. I saw a follicle growing. I live in hell. I hang out with a 22-month old day in and day out all by myself. I find solace in the computer because it's the only adult interaction I get on most days. I am embarrassed about that last sentence. I can't fall asleep before 1 am because, I don't know why, I just can't. I'm reuniting with people. I am thrilled. I am frustrated. I think everyone hates me. I tell myself that simply can't be true, but maybe it is. I want to run away. I want to cuddle. I want to laugh, cry, celebrate, do a jig, and break something.
I want a big fucking hug.
And, I miss Anthony, who today, from Athens, Greece, did this:
Because I begged him to and because he loves me.
Can I also add a drink to that hug??