Happy Birthday, Hollis!!

Aunt Larry's card for Hollis - his first birthday card EVER!

I can't believe it! Today is Hollis' first birthday! How incredible a year this has been; it takes my breath way.

To sum up the last year I can honestly say it's been saturated in love, devotion, determination, and emotion.

• tears
• arguments
• hugs
• talks
• laughter
• delirium
• purpose
  
• exhaustion
• humility
• wonder
• growth
• peace
• worry
  
• success
• confidence
• confusion
  
• fear
• determination
• mortality
• kisses
  

I'm sure there are a thousand other things that I could say that would describe the last 12 months, but I'm at a loss to find them.

We're keeping it low key this year. Anthony's in Cupertino until late tonight and so my mom and Terry will be coming over after work for dinner and to open presents. Nana Kathleen and Great-Grandma Dorothy sent care-packages with presents wrapped in tissue paper. I took a note from that and wrapped a couple of presents in tissue paper, too. He'll have a great time ripping that shit to shreds.

Tomorrow and Saturday Anthony and I are packing up and heading to Guadalupe River State Park to camp for a couple of days (Hollis' first camping trip!) to celebrate as a family. I've been researching how to camp with a one-year old. Wish me luck. At least he's more discriminating about what he jams in his mouth these days.

I was thinking yesterday as I was going through some pictures that my world was so indescribably different one year ago. First of all, I was in labor and both terrified of and determined to have a safe, happy birthing experience . Second of all, I had no idea what it meant to be a mother and to have my own family, naturally. But my ignorance has been blissfully blown to smithereens starting one year ago today and every day since then.

I never understood moms who "missed" their kids when they were on America's Next Top Model or Biggest Loser, for example. I thought they were a little loopy; maybe even too attached (?). I can't believe I ever thought that. I miss Hollis if I go out to run errands without him! He's like a constant pressure on my heart and when he's not with me I feel it. It's like an amputee and a ghost-limb. I'm sure my non-mom friends think I'm a little overboard, too, but I swear it's real and totally normal to miss your baby! It's not unlike going on a trip without your dog and you miss his sweet doggie presence. It's just magnified about 1000 times.

So, here's my sweet puddin' pop on October 9th, 2007.
And here's Hollis this morning when I woke him up at 7:30.

Can you feel the love?? I sure can. Awww... my Sweet Baby Hollis is a year old.