Today, I left him at daycare

Hawk is in yellow.

This is the moment he realizes we're gone; before the tears and sobbing, after the elation of being there with his beloved "Scoops."

Rooster bore the brunt of his three-year-old terror of being left behind since his car was parked close to where Hawk was standing.

I walked stiffly to my car, out of sight, willing the sounds of sobs out of my ears and my own out of my throat. I stood morosely by my car and waited as Rooster rolled by.

He rolled down the window, his face splotchy, his eyes red, "Yeah, that sucked."

"Yep," I said. "It'll be ok."

He nodded and drove off.

I climbed in my car and watched as a teacher came to comfort Hawk. He stood there as she offered gentle consolation for 2, maybe 3 minutes. Then he was out of my line of sight.

I drove forward so as to turn around and leave and I could see he is back at the tractors; hunched over diligently scooping away.

I'm gonna be ok.


  1. It is so, so hard.

    And EVERYONE is going to be OK.

    But it's still hard.

  2. What a beautifully written post. You're right. You'll both be okay.

  3. i wonder how it will be next year when i start him into kindergarten

  4. It is so hard. It's still hard for us most days. But I've come more and more to the realization that he is ok, and so are we.