The Universe giveth and it taketh away

I suppose I forgot to mention an important piece of my world in my earlier post: tonight is the first official night where Anthony lives somewhere else with my son.

I packed up a bunch of clothes and toys for Hollis and we "shopped" through his things for other odds and ends and when Anthony got home from work we almost immediately took off for the apartment; me chatting amiably with my small passenger about how Daddy has a house, Mommy has a house and he has two houses.

It's no small miracle (and blessing) that Hollis adores the apartment, and more specifically, Anthony.  The idea of spending a bunch of time away from Mommy with Daddy is a no-brainer for him, an enormously fancy treat that only fills his heart with joy.

So, you can imagine his pure jubilation at the idea of overnights in the apartment with Daddy

It made tonight better.  It was an immediate salve to my broken heart.  And this amazing Wookie/Blues/Ewok brilliance during our pizza dinner brought tears to my eyes and made me know without a shadow of a doubt that we would all survive this.

 Forty-five seconds of sheer genius.

And now that I'm home safely I will get happily stinking drunk because I'm really fucking sad and lonely, and I'll simultaneously do my best to not drunk-tweet, -dial, -email, -text, -blog, or -FB.

[Ed. add: I only got happily sleepily drunk last night, lest some of you worried about me.  A few friends all randomly texted me love and funnies and I had a couple of great conversations with friends millions of miles away.  It was a good night.  Sad, only a little bit lonely, and a lot pretty cool.  Only snafu was when Anthony called at 11:30 because Hollis was scared of the apartment and wanted me to come and get him.  I lovingly talked to Sweet Baby Hollis for a few minutes until he abruptly said, "Ok, goodnight!  Love you!"  I got a text a few minutes later of a picture of him sleeping.  All really is well.]


  1. Holy stinking adorable, Batgirl! That is one cute kid you have there. I only wish you were closer to my neck of the woods - something tells me Hollis and Westley would get along swimmingly (and they look like they could be related!).

    Also, if you lived nearby, I'd drink with you.

    Raise a glass, mama. It'll all be better soon.

  2. the lonliness is a fair price to pay when you know the decision was taken between to adults without stupid fights and that the whole family is benefiting (even though its split up). I hear you and understand you but I can't say anything to make it better really it will have to come from you and that will take a bit of time I guess :) in the meantime hugs

  3. I'm sorry. It's sucky and not fair, but you know it is what's BEST. And that's what you have to grasp onto for dear life, until you round that corner...and life really begins again.

  4. If you're going to drunk-shop, I have to recommend picking up a copy of Two Homes by Claire Masurel. It's the book I picked up when The Mook was not-quite-two and her dad and I split. I won't go on and on about it, because there are lovely reviews on Amazon, but it really helped THe Mook understand her new living arrangements (one week with me, one week with her dad).

  5. Oh Lord. THat's so utterly unfair but kudos to both of you for managing this process in such a little-person centred way.

  6. Glad it went asw well as it could. Hugs.