Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage green!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we're writing letters to ask our readers for help with a current parenting issue. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Dear Interwebs and Nets,
I feel like we're on the brink of potty-training. My son has begun to tell me he'd like to sit on the potty after he's pooped. So, I take off his diaper, grab his poop book and set him on the potty where he chatters away and flips the pages of his book. Sometimes he asks that I sit on the big potty and hang out with him, other times he shoos me from the room.
He understands that big boys (and mommies and daddies) go in the big potty and that he will some day, too. My question is this: What's my next step? Should I just let him go commando and see what happens? I'm clueless and I've been unable to find a book on potty training that I like.
Please help!
Sincerely Yours,
Poopin' in Austin
[Ed. note: My original submission included a question about Hollis suddenly stuttering in the last 2 weeks. He's still doing it, but I'm much less concerned than I was. I did a little research and it seems it's all perfectly normal (for some kids) when their brains are thinking much faster than they can make their mouths move. If you have any cents to throw in, I'd love to hear it!]
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Replace hitting with…? — Acacia at Be Present Mama is at a loss on how to handle her three year old's hitting.
- Two Questions — Alexandra at Breastfeeding Momma would like some ideas on how to strengthen her bond with her 8-month-old daughter; she's also looking for input on an emotional topic: vaccines.
- Balancing Needs When Baby Trumps Mama — Alison at BluebirdMama wonders how her child's need for noise and energy balances out against her need for quiet and space. (@childbearing )
- The McDilemma — Annie at PhD in Parenting is on the arches of a McDilemma. (@phdinparenting)
- Where is the mutually agreeable solution? When parenting calls for blood draws — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick has a child who needs regular blood tests that are torment for him. How does a parent honor a child when his health is on the line? (@RaisingBoychick)
- When To Wait To Nurse — Cave Mother wonders what age toddlers can be asked to wait to nurse.
- I don't love you Mama! — CurlyMonkey wonders what to do with her daughter's intense feelings. (@curlymonkey_)
- Help a Mama Out — Danielle at Born.in.Japan isn't getting much sleep with her cosleeping, night nursing, cranky little guy and hopes you can help with some suggestions for shuteye. (@borninjp)
- Dear Abby: My daughter really misses her Daddy — Darcel at The Mahogany Way needs to know how to help her daddy's girl get the connection with her father she needs — and not feel left out in the process. (@MahoganyWayMama)
- What's Going on at School? — Deb at Science@home is in a quandary: how can she find out what really goes on at school without stepping on the teacher's toes? (@ScienceMum)
- April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Advice — Dionna at Code Name: Mama wants to find volunteer work that includes her toddler. (@CodeNameMama)
- A Beatnik's Beat on Life — Erin at Beatnik Momma does not want to engage in "mommy wars." She'd like your input on how (and how much) to discuss her natural parenting choices with curious friends and family who parent differently. (@babybeatnik)
- Dear Abby — The Grumbles at Grumbles and Grunts gave her son a banana...and no solid food since. What's the next step in baby-led weaning? (@thegrumbles)
- Excuse me, I have a poop question — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has two questions for your consideration. One is about toddler stuttering, the other about toddler tinkling. (@tisworthwhile)
- The Half Empty Nest Syndrome: What to do when Momma gets replaced by a cow? — Joni Rae at Kitchen Witch Momma is suffering from "half-empty nest syndrome": what do you do when your babies start growing up? (@kitchenwitch)
- Peer Pressure — Kate at Momopoly worries what message her daughter's new friend is sending — but how to break up such an infatuation? (@Momopoly)
- When I Fall Down — Katherine at Momioso.com needs your wisdom on how to be more gentle and at peace with herself. (@naturalparent)
- A question of sleep and sanity — KeepingMumSane needs your toddler cosleeping advice in order to, well, keep mum sane! (@keepingmumsane)
- April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice — Lauren at Hobo Mama needs a chiropractor … or help getting her 36 lb toddler to walk up the stairs. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Driver's Ed for Mommies — Maman A Droit is a self-confessed terrible driver and is scared to drive with her baby in the car.
- Solo Parenting — Mammapie at Downside Up and Outside In needs tips for being a single working mother while her partner's away. (@mammapie)
- Itsy Bitsy Biter — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting needs your advice about her daughter, otherwise known as the pitbull.
- How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom)
- Seeking Stability in Chaos — Michelle at Seeking Mother is in a heart-wrenching position. She needs your input on how to make a toddler feel secure during a time of transition, the illness of a parent, and multiple (new) caregivers. (@Seekingmother)
- Mama, That's Too, Too Boring! — Michelle at The Parent Vortex started out asking how to encourage her preschooler to get dressed — and four days later, she began to without prompting! (@TheParentVortex)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl From Outer Space — Mommy Soup from Cream of Mommy Soup has several questions for you, from how you play favorites when no one's your favorite to how to tell off strangers curious about the ample size of your family. (@mommysoup)
- Diaper Duty Dilemma — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has a simple request: talk to her about cloth! (@babydust)
- What Do You Need My Son — pchanner at A Mom's Fresh Start wishes her calm four-month-old hadn't turned into an inquisitive and dramatic six-month-old. How do you handle changes in baby's personality? (@pchanner)
- Dear Natural Parenting Community — Sarah at OneStarryNight wants to know how to respond to criticism from family and friends over breastfeeding. (@starrymom)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Help — Sarah at Consider Eden feels like either her to-do list or her parenting is suffering, because she can't do both! (@considereden)
- To potty learn or not to potty learn - that is the question — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes wants to know whether it's time to start potty training. (@sheryljesin)
- Seeking Patience — Starr at Earth Mama looks to the collective tribal wisdom of this community to learn how to teach patience to children.
- A Dirty Girl Comes Clean — Tashmica at Mother Flippin' is struggling. How do parents deal with their inability to keep their children protected from danger? (@Mother_Flippin)
- Uli and the Pussy Cats — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis has a toddler who likes to put kitties in headlocks and ride them like horsies. How best to separate the little beasties?
- Perceptions of Discipline — Zoey at Good Goog doesn't use conventional discipline with her child — and doesn't know how to respond around people who do. (@zoeyspeak)
Ah poop. The never-ending potty training quest. Here's my answer for you...you may not like it.
ReplyDeleteMy son is 3.5 and in fact I considered adding a post to this carnival (and maybe I still will) because he has recently reverted back to pooping in his pants after a full year of being potty-trained.
To potty-train the first time around (when I thought I knew what I was doing) we just put him on the potty at regular intervals. Our furniture doesn't have slipcovers and I didn't want to deal with the bare bum fall-out. We took him to potty every couple of hours until I figured out what his normal schedule was. We had stacks of books and a magna-doodle in the bathroom for him to play with while we waited. We waited as long as he would sit there (or until it became ridiculous).
If I was you, I would start him on the potty. If he's expressing an interest now is the time to try. If you wait too long he may lose interest again.
BTW, it took months for him to get it the first time around. Be patient but consistent.
for us, the only thing that worked was getting a seat for the toilet and letting her be a big girl and use the big potty. Couldn't get her to go on the potty at all.
ReplyDeleteWe did our potty training in the summer and just let her run around naked. sure we had lots of accidents but not having carpets it wasn't a problem for us. no idea what people that have carpets do...wash a lot of clothes i guess.
I would definitely try some nakey-butt time. It will be even easier in the summer. (Well, it might already be warm where you are, not so much here!) Here's a post I wrote about using elimination communication techniques with toddlers: http://www.hobomama.com/2009/12/using-elimination-communication.html — as a gentle way to transition a child to potty learning. It sounds like you're already doing great in terms of following his interest and making potty time enjoyable for him. I would suggest starting to ask if he wants to try at set times (say, before/after sleep and before/after going out). You can always slow down if he wants to.
ReplyDeleteHave fun! :)
I had a big long comment written out for your original question (which I see is gone now!). If you are still having that particular problem, email me and I will share our eerily similar experience with Kieran.
ReplyDeleteAs for potty learning - I agree with going commando. Kieran does quite often and he actually stops himself from peeing now after a few little drips and runs to the potty. Success!
we used cloth diapers and for about 4 months I had two in diapers so I was washing constantly. One day I woke up so frustrated and told myself I would not wash diapers for my older child anymore! lol. so we picked out some fun underwear and never looked back! I think that being wishy washy confuses kids. We were either going to potty train or not talk about it. I have a friend that took almost a year to potty train her son! He knew what he was doing, she just kept putting a dipaper back on him.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, we had never given sweets to my son so I can him a chocolate kiss and a bite of ice cream. Said you can have the kiss if you pee and the ice cream if you poop in the potty. And we never looked back. He had just turned two at the time. So my advice is if you want to potty train get rid of the diapers all toghether, and find something they will love and reward them. I am not big on bribes and rewards but this situation called for it for us! lol
Of course what works for some wont work for others. Just see what works for you!
I'm right there with you, though this is my 3rd kid and for the life of me I don't really remember how I potty trained my other 2. That could be due in part to the fact that I was potty training each of them when their younger sibling was a newborn HAHA! I do have a seat that fits on top of the toilet and both of my girls responded so well to it that I didn't even try the little potty this time around.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I use plastic (vinyl?) diaper covers with the thick training undies. It allows them the "I'm totally soaked and it's uncomfortable" experience that some methods recommend while helping cut down on the mess. Being naked gives them the opportunity to do their business on the floor, bed, or couch and simply walk away from it without reporting they did anything. That's a nice surprise.
I never used one of those separate potty chairs, what I did was use one of those potty seat inserts that made the regular toilet seat opening a bit smaller.
ReplyDeleteI also never did rewards.
I would just suggest every hour that he try to sit on the potty, even if it was just for 5 minutes.
Throw away the diapers and accept that there are going to be messes for awhile. That was the only thing that worked iwth us. The girl wasn't fully toilet trained when she started preschool so we used disposables and that totally confused her. She didn't know when she could and couldn't pee.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
My kid did the stuttering thing. I'd totally forgotten until now, so I guess it was short-lived and non-traumatic?
ReplyDeleteAs for potty learning, we do the commando thing. We also set up lots of potties - you can find them for like $2 at IKEA. When kids need to go, they need to go NOW, not 20 seconds from now. Having a potty in the same room is key. Also, timing the potty to when they're likely to go helps - typically right after they wake up, or about 15 minutes after they eat. There's some science-y thing, but it worked for me.
I have a two year old who is only just starting to notice when she has a dirty nappy. I'm not looking forward to potty training. I'll have to bookmark this for later!
ReplyDeleteLike others have said, I would let him run around naked.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest would always come and tell us after she pooped that she had to go, letting her run around bottomless when she wanted to helped.
We have 3 boys, and we began our potty training on the very day they turned 3. It literally only took 5 days for them to learn. They were ready, and their muscles were, too.
ReplyDeleteWe never did the pull ups, or anything. It was just diapers one day, then regular underwear on their birthday. We had spent the year talking about it. And they were psyched.
My daughter's only 18 months and we're not quite ready for potty training yet, so I have no practical experience with this other than remembering ever so faintly my youngest brother and sister being potty trained. But I agree with the advice above that encourages the nudist approach. Easy access just seems to make sense to me! Good luck, momma!
ReplyDeleteRe: stuttering, my 3 1/2 yo did that for a while and then it totally went away. I think their little brains move faster than their lips!
ReplyDeleteAs for potty training, the only thing that worked with my girls (and I do recognize that girls can train very different from boys, so take this for what it's worth!) is to just let them do it at their own pace. No amount of coersion or pants-free time or cheers or boos affected them at all.
Good Luck! It's such a lovely milestone :)