I'm at a loss
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I don't know what to write. I've been doing this for a year and a half and I've never felt this way before. Part of it is I'm way behind on my blogging in general (you know what that means: following up on comments, reading my friends' blogs, returning comment love, etc.) and so when I sit down to the computer I'm usually taking care of business rather than writing.
But I'm also feeling very, I don't know, reclusive. Not my usual mode, lemme tell you. I'm not sure how this works. If I continue to be quiet and shy will people stop being my friend? Will everyone stop reading my blog? Will I lose the small community of personalities I've come to know and love if I shrink away from the computer as I truly want to do?
I've all but given up on Twitter; it overwhelms me to the nth degree. I just can't keep up and I can never get on board long enough to follow a train of conversation. I feel lost in Tweetdeck hell.
So, after a tumultuous summer and a revolutionary start to fall I am here. But barely.
Please don't think I've abandoned this outlet and decide to leave. I look forward to your presence here, even if it is just a bunch of 1s and 0s. And I feel pathetic and weird for admitting that, but there it is. All the women who comprise my internet world have woven a web about me and I take great comfort in knowing it's there. It's reassuring and warm and often uplifting and eye-opening. It is a window into a world bigger than myself and I need it as much as I need anything else.
And to think, it's still just a bunch of 1s and 0s.
I feel like a Light Bright board with a few pegs missing: all lit up, with a few holes, and a little lopsided... at least I'm lit up, right??