10.15.2009

I'm at a loss


I don't know what's wrong with me, but I don't know what to write. I've been doing this for a year and a half and I've never felt this way before. Part of it is I'm way behind on my blogging in general (you know what that means: following up on comments, reading my friends' blogs, returning comment love, etc.) and so when I sit down to the computer I'm usually taking care of business rather than writing.

But I'm also feeling very, I don't know, reclusive. Not my usual mode, lemme tell you. I'm not sure how this works. If I continue to be quiet and shy will people stop being my friend? Will everyone stop reading my blog? Will I lose the small community of personalities I've come to know and love if I shrink away from the computer as I truly want to do?

I've all but given up on Twitter; it overwhelms me to the nth degree. I just can't keep up and I can never get on board long enough to follow a train of conversation. I feel lost in Tweetdeck hell.

So, after a tumultuous summer and a revolutionary start to fall I am here. But barely.

Please don't think I've abandoned this outlet and decide to leave. I look forward to your presence here, even if it is just a bunch of 1s and 0s. And I feel pathetic and weird for admitting that, but there it is. All the women who comprise my internet world have woven a web about me and I take great comfort in knowing it's there. It's reassuring and warm and often uplifting and eye-opening. It is a window into a world bigger than myself and I need it as much as I need anything else.

And to think, it's still just a bunch of 1s and 0s.

::

I feel like a Light Bright board with a few pegs missing: all lit up, with a few holes, and a little lopsided... at least I'm lit up, right??

10 comments:

  1. I still love you.

    It must be going around. I'm feeling a little blogged-out, too. Oh, and I'm totally with you on Twitter. Sometimes I think it might be more trouble than it's worth.

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  2. P.S. Pretty color scheme. Love the green and orange.

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  3. let us be your cyberblanket for a while. we will not leave you when you need to rest, be absent or just floaty. we all get it. i know i get that way sometimes too and please never think you have to follow up or return comments, at least for me because that alone can suck the fun and spontaneity out of writing. i dig it here and will be back no matter what. :)

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  4. Well just so you know I think about you everyday. I'm not weird, it's just true! I love your posts and you being on line and leaving comments and what not. Anyway. I get in the "I have nothing to blog about" funk often, too. It's normal. On Wednesdays, Mama Kat's blog (there is a link up in my post today) offers writing assignments so I sometimes pick from there and blog about the topic she has provided, like today!

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  5. I can relate, and I've only had my blog for about five months. I feel like I'd have to neglect my kids, somewhat, if I were to do all this blogging stuff really well.

    Well, I'll read when you post because I enjoy your writing! And I like your new look, by the way!

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  6. I feel reclusive every year at this time. I call it the 'fall blahs'. It's dark and rainy and I just want to hide under a blanket. But I'm here, too. Hopefully we'll both come out of it soon.

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  7. Sometimes we just don't want to talk to other people. In real like or online. I get like that. I just need to be with myself. When you are ready you will ahve more to say. I have you in my Reader so I will know when that is! :-)

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  8. Hey you,
    I still dig ya, recluse or not. Truth be told, I`m a reclusive loner too. Who knew - we`re kindred spirits. And I love the colors and look - fab!!

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  9. At least your lit up. :) I love those light bright boards!!! Stopping by from SITS, www.glutenfreefrenzy.com, come visit! :)

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  10. I am feeling very much the same way. I spend way more time reading and commenting than I do writing... there's just not enough time in the day. And totally agree on the whole twitter thing. I don't even pretend to get on board ;) I just post updates every now and then, and browse the latest few updates... I too think that a lot of bloggers are suffering some kind of burnout and not going around and posting as often.

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