It's freakin' HUGE

About a month ago my laptop was officially laid to rest. It had zero space left in its memory, it took forever to download things, forget about even trying to watch a video on it, the enamel was worn off where wrists had rubbed it over the years, Hollis had broken its little neck, so to speak, and therefore the screen flopped around and had to be propped up in order to work, the chord was frayed and you had to jiggle it *just so* in order to get the juices flowing...

Basically, it was fucked.

It had honestly not occurred to me that we might get a new computer. I'm not a gear head; I don't buy gadgets of any kind. My iPhone was inherited, I use the radio in my car, I was gifted an iPod and iPod Shuffle that I never use pretty much just because they're thingamabobs and I can't be bothered. Anthony had a whole different idea, however. He saw our limping and battered house computer as an avenue to a bright and shiny video game world. Thus, our Gigantic Beauty was born.

I'm mostly over the embarrassment of having such an ostentatious piece of equipment standing naked in the middle of my house. But I'm far from feeling casual about it when people come over and see it jutting its shiny black screen out for all to see. I almost want to say to it, "Hey, could you tone it down a little?? Just for tonight?"

Sometimes it feels like it's watching me throughout the day, no matter where I am in the front of the house. How could it not?? It's so damned big! It can probably see into my neighbor's house across the street.

You can't NOT see it. It's like the freaking sun: bright, glaring, and omnipresent.

Do you see what I see?? (The view from our front door)

And yet, it is utterly wondrous. I can download pictures from email in 2 seconds flat, not 25; my letters appear as fast as I can type them; I can have multiple tabs open in multiple windows; I can edit photos - lo! I can have PhotoShop open even!; the speakers work; the video is AMAZING; I can zip from place to place, back and forth, up and down and without a delay or a crash!; and I know I have yet to even scratch the surface (I'm getting worked up just thinking about its marvelousness!)!

It also gave me the fabulous (and warranted) excuse to buy a new lamp. Previously on my grandmother's buffet were two small, silver lamps, but they were dwarfed by the back of the monitor and you could see the chords and what not. I actually had to buy a lamp with the biggest shade I could find just to provide some cover, cuz who wants to stare at the back of someone's head and see their tags sticking out while eating dinner? - Well, probably a lot of people wouldn't care, but that's not how I roll. I want shit tucked away.

Lamp shade camouflage. Can you see it now? (View from dining room table)

I love, love, love my little office space in the heart of our house and this mammoth monitor and fancy-dancy computer kinda make me feel more like a grownup. Like, we have real, nice shit now. Not crap duct taped together because we're too disorganized to replace it.

It's weird how I get embarrassed over having nice things. I hid my iPhone from the general public for weeks because I felt like they'd judge me, "Oh she's one of those people," meaning I'd stood in line for a week to get the damn thing. Like I really care what anyone thinks about me? Eventually, I come to my senses and just relax and live my life.

I think it deserves a name, my new, precious computer, he/she who helps make my life easier and more vast (I don't blame it in the least for my compunctions). So go on with your big, bad self, Computer. Shine on and be brilliant and righteous. You have a friend in me.