I will conquer the gnats

Gnats make me want to claw my skin off my bones. Lucky for me that isn't really possible because we have an infestation in my kitchen and a Raving, Skinless Jessie wouldn't be all too great, me thinks.

I don't know if they came when I was saving compost materials for my neighbor or just because you can't have produce on your counter tops here in Texas, but whatever the reason for their existence in my nice, clean house, they're here. And they make me want to vomit. VOMIT, I say.

I've discovered over the past couple of weeks that they are magnetically pulled to my wine glass - nice, huh? They have good taste; they couldn't be bothered with juice. And it doesn't seem to matter if it's white or red, so I've started leaving out little wine glasses just for them around the house to lure them in. Then I creep up and slam my hand down on the top and drown the little bastards.

Today, it was a nice Pinot Grigio. It was working wonders until I saw about 20 of them lurking by. The bile rising in my throat told me then it was time to call in the reinforcements. Plus, I don't want to waste all my wine on this shit.

Here's my current set up:

We'll see if the fly tape or the wine will get the most in the end. Wish me luck, people.

And sorry, you nasty, disgusting, hovering gnats, but I'm gonna win this round.

Update: I ended up going with a mixture of wine AND vinegar and within a few days they were dead, dead, DEAD. Incidentally, the fly tape caught some big house flies (another problem I have), but the gnats steered clear of it.


  1. Vinegar. Gnats are drawn to vinegar. Put vinegar in a bottle or jar, poke holes in the top. They'll go in to get vinegar and then not be able to get back out.

  2. OMG - this is too good. Good luck in your battle!!!

    Stopping by from SITS!

  3. i'm sick of flies and gnats and fruit flies and black flies, too. We accidentally found that they really like pineapple juice... ;)

  4. What are gnats? Are they like fruit flies? Whatever they are - this was a funny post!