I will conquer the gnats

Gnats make me want to claw my skin off my bones. Lucky for me that isn't really possible because we have an infestation in my kitchen and a Raving, Skinless Jessie wouldn't be all too great, me thinks.

I don't know if they came when I was saving compost materials for my neighbor or just because you can't have produce on your counter tops here in Texas, but whatever the reason for their existence in my nice, clean house, they're here. And they make me want to vomit. VOMIT, I say.

I've discovered over the past couple of weeks that they are magnetically pulled to my wine glass - nice, huh? They have good taste; they couldn't be bothered with juice. And it doesn't seem to matter if it's white or red, so I've started leaving out little wine glasses just for them around the house to lure them in. Then I creep up and slam my hand down on the top and drown the little bastards.

Exhibit A: About a dozen dead soldiers in the 3rd Wine Glass Trap of the day

Today, it was a nice Pinot Grigio. It was working wonders until I saw about 20 of them lurking by. The bile rising in my throat told me then it was time to call in the reinforcements. Plus, I don't want to waste all my wine on this shit.

Here's my current set up:

Try and survive, you asshole gnats! I'm the one with a frontal cortex, not you!!

We'll see if the fly tape or the wine will get the most in the end. Wish me luck, people.

And sorry, you nasty, disgusting, hovering gnats, but I'm gonna win this round.

Update: I ended up going with a mixture of wine AND vinegar and within a few days they were dead, dead, DEAD. Incidentally, the fly tape caught some big house flies (another problem I have), but the gnats steered clear of it.