Life goes on

Hollis spit me out on both sides today.

He's been rejecting my left breast for about 3 weeks now. It's never been a super producer, instead my right has always been lovingly called "garganta-boob" because of its over-achieving tendencies.

But today, just now as I was putting him down for his afternoon nap, he refused the right one, too. Instead preferring his pacifier.

Oh, a mother's sadness.

I never thought I'd be one of those "hippie moms", but when I had my own child I thought, "Why would I NOT breastfeed until he was done??" The idea of giving him formula, when I was available, seemed counterintuitive and just plain sad to me.

But here we are. Almost 13 months after he was born and all on his own he's weaning himself.

All these things, so important to me, are coming to a [natural] end lately. Not to be irreverent, but I wish my chin hairs would come to an end. I could do without them. I sure would have liked to have a little more "baby time" with Hollis, though. And of course I would have liked some more time with Levi - eternal, really.

Oh well, such is the way of things. I'm just one big sigh these days.

And for some inexplicable reason (well, it's because I don't ever catch/hear/listen to lyrics) that the song "California Dreaming" has been going through my mind. The lilting chorus, the harmony, it evokes a sense of cycles in me. (I apologize to anyone who actually knows the words and meaning of this song, but I pretty much make up my own meanings to every song out there.)

I don't have a picture for this post. I think my words sum it up pretty well enough.