The baby ride

Hollis is the most exhilarating roller coaster I've ever had the pleasure to ride on. He's in the throes of teething at the moment. I think we're up to 7 in all the way, with 2 more ruptured, and a couple more on their way. He's in little baby hell. He gets a few days off, then he's on again.

On his days off, this is a typical moment with him. He's easy going, happy, funny, curious. All those adorable, endearing things babies can be. This particular picture was from our "Summer Photo Shoot." I bought a four seasons baby frame and each season I take a picture of him. Fall has him laying on big orange leaves, for winter he's wearing an ear-flap hat my mom knitted for him, and in spring he's trying to eat my neighbor's winecups. It's so fucking hot here now I couldn't think of a better scene for summer than having him shirtless outside, so here we are assaulting my neighbor's flowers again.

The very next day he was hard at work teething again. I think he clocked in at around 5 pm. I gave him baby Tylenol, some Camilia, teething tablets, frozen wash cloths, and cold chew toys and he didn't want any of it. Even his bath wasn't enough to distract him from his teething and he just screamed and flailed his arms in frustration and pain.

This picture is of him standing at our "coffee table" (an old steamer trunk) ostensibly playing with two new packages of pacifiers I bought that day, however, the play quickly was dissolving into a painful rage as he'd scream and beat and fling the packages. (I say "beat and fling" instead of "play with" because I felt first-hand his little baby wrath on my shoulders and chest with his sharp fingernails and chubby hands as he screamed and kicked earlier that night. This was something he'd never done before. In the past, when in discomfort, he would cry and pat me, but this time, he was crazed with discomfort.)

Poor baby. Seriously. What an ordeal to go through! I remember when my wisdom teeth came in - holy shit! They hurt like hell and I was pretty cranky.

I can't wait for the rest of this ride! I want time to speed up, stand still, and rewind all at the same freakin' time!! The past 10 months have been an inspiring right of passage and I know that every day with him will be another. What a gift life is that as my child moves through growing pains that are challenging and frustrating for everyone I can't see anything but love and wonder in it. And I'm not a rose-colored glasses kind of gal, either. I'm usually a pragmatic idealist, if that makes sense.

But seeing Hollis' range of emotions makes me swell with feeling. When he's raging I feel compassion. When he's hurting I feel sympathy. When he's happy I feel joy. His lows inspire me to be receptive and a soft place for him. His highs elevate me to a new plane of happiness. A friend of mine aptly wrote in his blog that the word "love" just isn't enough to describe what a person can feel for a child. I certainly agree. Hollis' Jack-Jack-like behavior isn't troublesome, it's an opportunity to mother him. ::Mother him:: What a joy that is. - I feel like I need to have a thesaurus nearby so I can come up with some new words for all this happy-happy crap I'm feeling haha. -

Ah, man... I just feel so verklempt all the time. Like I'm always holding my breath or something; waiting for the fairy dust to settle around the unicorns standing outside under my castle window.