About a year later
I just realized it's been about a year since I first announced to the world that Rooster and I were splitting up.
And this morning I found my first grey hairs ever.
I haven't colored my hair in 7 months in order to cut costs, so they've finally had the freedom to blossom among the dark wheat colored strands on my head --the little bastards -- but I'm certain they'd be there regardless.
Honestly, I don't really care. This past year has proven my mettle beyond a shadow of a doubt and I'm proud of myself.
Let me repeat that: I'M PROUD OF MYSELF.
I made the tough decisions, I strove forward, I didn't settle; I did the opposite of all those things when it would've been ridiculously easy to do so. Freakishly easy.
Some might think I gave up on my marriage, but the truth is I reinvested in myself and Hawk. I didn't want to suffer in that relationship for another 40 years and show my baby that misery and malcontent were acceptable in a longterm relationship. That was simply unacceptable to me.
Rooster wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. And though we talked endlessly, burned holes in couches in therapy for a year, cried buckets, and still loved each other, we decided reconfiguring our partnership was the best thing for all of us.
We earned the right to re-write our lives. We were never idle participants.
So wow. A year later. I can't believe it. And I can truly say, "I have the grey hair to prove it."