I played trivia with friends last night. Bought a $2 Lone Star, tipped a buck, then our team won and my share was $4. So, essentially, I made $1 last night. So now who's a bad ass?
This is a question I pretty much have on my mind 24/7. It's difficult to figure out the exact equation for job:loss ratio. I mean, at what point is a $10/hour job worth it? Should I get "just anything"? When I was nannying for friends a few months go they paid me $12/hour, but I doubled my gas bill and was literally so exhausted at the end of the day I could barely sit upright let alone look for work. I know it sounds so simple to so many, "Well, just do it. You have no choice." But really, I did the best I could and it involved not having so much left over to look for real work.
So, how destitute do I have to be before that $10 seems adequate and worth the time/energy loss? I haven't figured that out yet, but I'm hustling other ideas. I'm going to open an Etsy shop once I've built up a library of things to sell. My parents want to give me a commission for selling some of their shit on Craigslist. Rooster will give me 100% of the profits if I can move an old armoire out of his garage so long has he has no involvement in it. I'm going to sell my old car. And my sister -- the loving, sweet, big little sister that she is -- has been sending me a few hundred dollars a month that helps me just barely stay in the black.
I've considered moving apartments, but then I'd probably be further from the city and Hawk's amazing school if I wanted to keep the level of comfort I have. Should I sell my car in order to save about $50/month in gas? It's paid off. Does that make sense? I don't have cable and so I watch Hulu and the Instant stuff off Netflix which is $9/month. Rooster suggested I get rid of my iPhone, but it's only $85/month and I need a cell phone regardless. Does that make sense? I basically don't eat on the weeks Hawk isn't here, so I save money on food. When I go out and have to buy my own drink, I get $2 Lone Star, because yeah, having a life and socializing is imperative for my happiness.
I think I'm missing something, though. I try and pretend that I receive NO income whatsoever and think about what I would do differently. But honestly, my brain can come up with no answers. I'm worried I'm secretly a loser (yeah, yeah, yeah, this post was me on a good day). Lazy. Good for nothing. A colossal piece of shit. Shouldn't I be doing something work-related right this second, for instance??
June has been a really great month for job opportunities, though. I've applied to half a dozen jobs this month alone! Compare that with half a dozen since March since I have limitations on the jobs I can apply to: I'm not flexible with hours and shifts I can work and I don't speak Spanish (ohhh, how I wish I did!), and for the last 3 months most available jobs were weird shifts and required a language I don't know. However, I start volunteering at a reputable agency here in Austin soon and I found a supervisor I highly esteem. Things aren't all bad. (You see this circular internal commentary? You suck --> you're trying --> try harder --> you still suck.)
Friends and family are always telling me I should get paid for my writing so I did some research on freelance stuff. Ohmyfuckinggodareyouserious?? Pages and pages of bullshit. Cents per copy. Business relationships. Contracts. Legal issues. Casting a wide net. It's who you know. It's a full-time job. Blahblahblah. Can you say overwhelmed?? Maybe I should have taken up all those advertisers looking for space on my blog. Anyone want a Better Homes and Garden link up? A post-swap? Maybe Kraft dinners? I'm into it now!! Please come back!
In a post-Bush economy, where do the over-educated and slightly-behind-the-eight-ball folks go for cash?? Please. I'd really like to know. I need help!