No day is an average day

I've been reminded lately that no day is an average day.

The woman at the register who is snippy to you might have lost her mother yesterday. The man who dangerously cuts you off may be racing to pick up his injured son. The person you pass in the hall who doesn't return your offered smile might be contemplating divorce from an abusive partner.

The point is, we just don't know, can't know, and shouldn't assume either about anyone.

I remember when my dad was sick, dying, and finally just dead, that I had a similar sense of bigger things going on around me; of a connection to people the world wide in their suffering and strength and bravery to live their lives each day. I was like a raw nerve walking around and NO ONE KNEW. No one knew to even ask. I felt like I was living a secret life in broad daylight. And I'm feeling that again as my best friend struggles to save her baby.

Her amniotic sac suddenly (and unexpectedly - she'd been having a normal, healthy pregnancy) broke on March 14th. Her doctor told her to go the ER and, like an addict in an intervention, she says, she was told she wouldn't be leaving for the next 10 weeks, and no, she may not run home to gather her things. And hence her captivity began.

Spring came and burst into full bloom while she lay in her hospital room with flowers lining her window bench. Her fiance freely drove to and from work and stopped by a few times a week, feeding their cat and doing her laundry a long the way. Her parents held their breaths two-and-a-half hours away doing their daily ablutions hoping they wouldn't receive any phone calls before the ten weeks were up. And Hollis and I continued our daily outings, only this time we stopped by to see "Reeree," one of his favorite people on the planet, every single day as I promised her the first night I visited her in the labor and delivery room.

Now, though, her baby (and her body) have decided enough is enough and she's been in active labor for over 30 hours. She's just past 26 weeks. And again, life goes on and I could hear babies being born all around us as we kept vigil all day yesterday; and I passed pregnant women in the halls; and tried not to cry when the gift shop cashier asked me so sincerely how I was doing that it truly touched my heart to wonder what brought her to this day and sentiment.

So, like all of us do whenever we hear about another mother and her struggles, hold your little ones tighter for a moment today and give everyone an open faced smile and a break. You never know what might be going on in their life today. You might be the one bright spot they receive.

Today is Day 17. Please keep my dear friend in your hearts as she fights a mother's fight.

:: Later on Day 13 Sheree called me to say that while doing a routine monitoring they'd discovered some mild contractions. I stayed the night with her. ::

Day 15.

Her Mama standing by.

(Update: Little Jaxson William Segura Saurenmann was born this morning, 3/31/10 (Day 18, at 26 weeks, 3 days) at 4:33 am. He weighed 2 lbs 5 oz. He's currently in the NICU and they're working hard to get him stable. Here is his blog.)


  1. My thoughts, well-wishes and prayers are going out to your friend, Jessica. God I hope her little baby is going to be okay! I believe the baby will be okay, with the modern medicine and amazing hospitals we have. I hope to God the next post you write about her will be a good one. I am thinking of you all. It's so hard, I know.

  2. i held my breath the entire time reading this post. i'm over here praying and keeping good thoughts flowing toward you and your lovely mommy friend. may she and her little baby get through this together. (p.s. you are solid, jessica. know that.)

  3. Wow... I'm praying that both are kept safe through all of this.

    Hollis is such an angel.

  4. I'm praying hardcore for your friend. I'm also praying that your presence with her will be steadfast and solid. May God wrap his arms around you all at this time.

    Not to get up hopes or anything, but my son (who we adopt officially tomorrow!) was born at 26 weeks. That's not to say that everything with this precious little one will automatically be fine, but just know that it IS possible.

  5. I'll keep your friend, and her baby, in my thoughts. As a preemie mom myself I carry these stories very close to my heart. I am wishing strength and peace and health to everyone.

  6. Hard stuff, mama.

    You're a good friend. Of course, there's no way of knowing how things will turn out until they...turn out. But being surrounded by the love and support of friends can only help.

  7. We will keep you all in our prayers. May God keep the baby under His wings.

  8. Wow this was a much needed post for me. I tend to forget that others have so much going on and my life could be worse.

    Your friends are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things will be ok.

  9. Oh I hope and pray that little Jaxson is stable now. His Mama must be under such unbearable stress. My heart is sore for her.

  10. I hope everyone is okay. I am sending them all my good thoughts. And you too.

  11. Lots of GET STRONG vibes going out to baby Jaxson.
    You're an amazing friend for being there with her, and supporting her in the scariest, most important time of her life.
    So lots of STAY STRONG vibes for you.