It should come to no surprise to anyone that women are measured based on their levels of sexual attractiveness to men. It's a whole lot of bullshit, but it's true.
Having said that, the term MILF needs to go. I alluded to it in a previous post that I'm less than flattered to be categorized as such because the fact that some male wants to copulate with me isn't flattering.
For those of you who may not know, MILF is really an acronym for "a Mom I'd Like to Fuck." It was first said in Universal Pictures' American Pie movie in 1999. And in that context, it wasn't offensive. The scene consisted of two teen boys at a house party looking at family portraits. The mother of the boy throwing the party had a particularly provocative portrait; not lewd, but definitely a little "come hither." One boy said to the other something to the extent of, "Boy, she's a MILF!" The other boy, confused, asks for clarification from his friend. The friend happily explains that she's "A mom I'd like to fuck!!" It's really hilarious and in this situation, totally appropriate. When we're teens, adults are "moms" and "dads", so of course they're going to turn their panting attention to a good looking "mom" and think about scoring with her.
But the term's taken on a life of its own now. When I Googled "MILF" I got some really interesting results. The porn industry is all over this one, apparently. I see women wearing MILF t-shirts everywhere and I hear men brag that their wife is a MILF. I'm just sorta left speechless.
As a mother, who does have sex occasionally - ha!, I'm confused why this is considered such a compliment. Does motherhood really knock us down from being sexually attractive to men that seemingly "reclaiming" that ability to give them hard-ons is so exciting?? It's infuriating.
Is it a Madonna/Whore thing? Do men like to envision a sweet, nurturing cookie-baker by day and a pole-dancer by night?
As a feminist, I can see MILF as either empowering to women (Hey! Motherhood doesn't put me at the end of the line of getting fucked!) or degrading (Hey! Even though you're a mom I still want to fuck you!!), but I see it more as the latter, obviously.
Everyone is weighing in on a woman's - a mother's - sexualtiy. God forbid a woman ever let her sexual desirability go out with the bath water. Poor girl. No one wants to fuck her!
At what point are we going to stop appropriating women's worth to their desirability to men? Seriously?? It's exhausting. My husband adores me, thinks I'm dead sexy (bless his little heart), but he's supposed to be interested in my sexual attractiveness. He has a vested interest in it.
I feel like my head's going to explode because I know it's more than this. As a species sex is imperative. Everyone on this planet thinks about sex as soon as they know what it is. It's a part of every single person's life and thoughts whether or not they engage in it. Men and woman have been doing this dance for a long, long time. I just have issue with backhanded compliments regarding women and I'm weary of it all. Push, pull, up, down, use it, don't use it. It's exhausting.
Just please, PLEASE, don't call me, or anyone else a fucking MILF, ok?? You don't know what you're saying and you'll just look like an asshole.
Amen, sister.
ReplyDeleteHaving just found this post via the Mom Jeans post from the 8th, I have to add my two cents.
ReplyDeleteNot only is it insulting to base a woman's value solely on her ability to inspire men's libido, it also entirely takes the woman's choice out of the equation. It seems to me to be one (granted, very important) step down from "a Mom I'd Like to Rape". That might sound a little extreme, seeing as most men wouldn't even consider committing that heinous act, but both ideas communicate that the woman's primary worth is in having a place for a man to insert his penis.